Violence could become a thing of the past, thanks to a new Nuclear Holocaust app.

Studies of violence in various contexts have shown that, in general, attacks happen only when the perpetrator is confident that the victim does not have adequate means for self-defence. This has been a constant feature of life, with violence occurring when one person has a bigger fist than another person, or a bigger knife, or a bigger gun, or a bigger tank, or a bigger fleet of drones. The new app, which was released today, could put an end to that.

Alec Johnson of the Campaign For World Peace Through Universal Nuclear Armament is behind the app. "It became clear that only when everyone has the same level of protection would it be possible to eliminate violence once and for all. So the app guarantees world peace by giving everyone the same ability to cause the sudden destruction of the entire human race through a nuclear holocaust."

The app connects a person's mobile phone to a global network of nuclear warheads, which are constantly armed and ready to destroy the planet. One click on the red button will cause the weapons to detonate. It is estimated that within 15 minutes the human race would be extinct.

The scheme has been piloted in an area of Memphis, Tennessee, which has seen dramatic reductions in all kinds of violent crime. At first the gangs continued to threaten people with guns and knives, but when they were met with threats of a nuclear holocaust in return, they immediately realised that such violence would be futile. The gangs have now been disbanded, children can play safely on the streets, shops and homes are left unlocked, and the police no longer have any work to do in the area.

"I now feel so much safer," said one participant in the pilot scheme, "knowing that I can trigger a nuclear holocaust if anyone threatens me or my family. It seems that a new era of peace and prosperity has begun!"

Johnson added, "All that it takes for evil to triumph is for the good guys to be inadequately armed. Today marks the final triumph of good over evil."